Redemption

                         Photo Credit: Sariyd

I learned to hide in the cracks of the looking glass

to gasp and wheeze within the recesses of my fractured soul.

tight spaces bore me well,

confinement, even better;

no resolve to stretch

(to expand, even less)

my limbs grew weak through surrender

and with them I learned to exist, to crawl

on broken pavement among shadows gazing triumphantly

as I peered into the void of self-knowing;

like a Mozart of mediocrity

tapping keys of resignation

I played to empty theaters

in alleys of midnight,

hand-less applause rose from faceless crowds night after night,

hundreds echoing the derision of my delusion,

silenced by compositions in desperate imaginings

conducted in madness on sunless days;

my nights held me in scorn

as I, stewing in the hisses of mockery,

endured them like a still-birth

cradled by a mother blind, senseless.

 

Then came a night of worse affliction

than the rest

whose accusations and torturous

reminders of a failed life

carved their deepest cuts

into my already-scarred soul;

unwilling to resist, I submitted myself entirely, nakedly,

to the torment

as blacker shadows pressed in,

whispering reminders that what was never was

and what could be never will be;

until, by a different light,

a deeper darkness intervened

and night, once a mantle of shame,

now with a different face (pity, perhaps?)

stooped low to consider my surrender

whispering words illumined by the light of moons

calling me to stand;

though heavy with the burden of being,

of a life without seeing,

I stood……and I breathed……

and I dared lift my eyes

to spaces unknown, not imagined;

and seeing with first sight,

without the eye of memory,

I gazed upon the night

and seeing in it this new, unfamiliar light

I raised my arms to it

and with trembling, legs

I walked toward tomorrow.


(Blessings)

 

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