The sound of my son, Solomon, calling out to me – “Dada” – when he awakens in the morning, or from a nap, fills me with the sweetest grace of living. Like a dove cooing at dusk, his voice floats through the air and with it fly dreams of my soul.
I remember distinctly the first time I saw him, at his birth. I assisted during labor and birth, and when he was laid on Caroline’s bosom and let out his first cries my breathing left me, and my crying joined his for our first chorus of love and beauty of life.
Then there was the first time I heard him cry at home. I was in my home office and he was upstairs with his mother. His wail burst through my bubble of dreamy bliss as the reality of another soul sharing our space and lives let me know, really know, that life was now different, a newly unwrapped gift that results in a rearrangement of desire and fulfillment.
There have been moments when I laid eyes on him and tears streamed from my eyes without articulation of words or even of thought. In these moments I’d enter a space of feeling, of an inexpressible something with a texture that only my subtlest soul-sense could feel, like a forgotten dream brushing lightly against the skin of memory, enough to be felt but not enough to be remembered. Some call this space Love. Others call it rapture. I prefer the mystery of not knowing, not naming, just being and feeling.
I prefer the challenge of seeking new diction and syntax – if this is even called for, which it’s not. In the same way, by a similar principle, Solomon challenges my known self to reach deeper into my unknown Self, to find the compressed carbon made to shine in its multifaceted power. That power, derived from the elements, pressure, time, and eternity is the same power that birthed Solomon and me and you. It is the power of transformation.
A new dynamic has sprung from Solomon’s arrival and growth. A dynamic of family that did not exist before, of fatherhood, of motherhood, and a son who reminds us of what we are and what we can be – free, fully expressed, ever-learning, and, at the soul’s core, pure and holy. Solomon has transformed me, and Caroline, and I am forever thankful that I, we, have been chosen.
So then, as each day gives way to the next and life carries me along this track of being and evolving as a Spirit-being, Human, Man, Father, I feel beyond blessed to carry within my symphony of soul the singular song of Solomon – Son of All Living.