On October 2, 2012 @ 6:32pm ET I clicked the ‘Save and Publish’ button on Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing portal to publish my first book – a collection of poems titled, Of Silence Of Soul. There still would have to be a wait, up to 12 hours, before the book would be listed and up for sale on Amazon. Then, at 12:55am, October 3rd (my Mother’s birthday – happy birthday Mommy!) the email arrived from Amazon to say that Of Silence Of Soul was officially published.
It was a signature moment for me. By self-publishing my book (and I will be publishing at least 4 other books in the next year) I chose to bet on myself, all or nothing.
This is really what my Healing Voyage is about – betting on myself when the odds seem so stacked against me.
Betting on myself. If I don’t have confidence in myself or inside knowledge of a clear advantage that renders victory or success a sure thing, then faith is what is called for. And faith is my wager, to be followed by work, persistence, and the cooperation and willingness of others to bet that buying and reading a copy of Of Silence Of Soul will leave them with a gain, even a win, of some kind. At least, that’s what I’m betting on.
If you’ve ever doubted yourself, felt mocked and toyed with by your fears, walked up to the very edge of your calling only to turn and run from it toward safer ground – then you know what ‘losing’ or ‘failure’ feel like, as I do.
If you’ve ever been humiliated, deprived, dismissed, debased and abused, rendered a nobody, a nothing, or a mere ‘thing’, in the eyes of others, by the words of others, at the hands of others – again, you know how it feels to wander in the shadows of shame and the subtraction of self.
These are the odds of which I speak being stacked against what appears to be a mere drop of a wish in an ocean of ‘I can’t’.
My Healing Voyage is all about betting on myself – from starting this blog years ago, to seeking alternative remedies and answers to ailments and dilemmas (like Meridian Tapping, energy work, mystical experiences, raw juices, fasting, or dream-work, for example), to writing and self-publishing a book. In these and other ways, I am asserting my Self as my authority, my doctor, my priest, my advocate.
Self-publishing empowers me. I don’t need the conventional publishing industry or any of the ‘big 6′ publishing houses to tell me I am a writer or that my stuff is worth reading. I don’t need their approval, their blessing, their resources to validate me in others’ eyes or my own.
I only need faith, courage, and the willingness to bet on myself, to put myself out there before the world and declare, ‘I AM! I am here! I am a writer! I am worthy! I AM!‘ Why?? Because I SAY SO! (Thank you to Landmark Education for the declaration, ‘because I say so’)
Technology, innovation, and vision have contributed immeasurably to the democratization of opportunities and possibilities. At one time these were mistakenly attributed to being born into wealth or having amazing connections or being cunning and dishonest (none of which I would cross out). Now there are no excuses or alibis for failing to pursue and fulfill your calling.
The digital revolution means anyone – me, you, him, her, us – can become, or at least declare yourself, a writer, a photographer, a filmmaker, a music producer, an internet celebrity, or a thought leader.
Anyone. Anything. Possibilities. Simply because you say so.
This is why I chose to self-publish.