I allowed my thoughts to stray a bit from the spirit of Reflection on Birth and Silence to consider what I had heard years ago about birth from a few fathers, including standup comics, who assisted or were just present at the birth of their child.
They mentioned, in varying degrees of humor and horror, how devastated they were to see something that big pass through their partner’s birth canal. Some shared that they could not fully enjoy the birth of their child because of the anticipated sexual anxiety triggered by the birth. I had always been amused, and somewhat bemused, by these stories of their anguish. I had imagined that I might feel the same way if I were in the same position.
Well, I was in the same position and no, the thought of it never entered my mind for a second. Not during the birth, not after.
In reflecting on this I came away thinking that any man that feels that way at his child’s birth is sick, selfish, and disconnected from the spirit of life. To inject the fear of loss of personal sexual gratification on such a base level into such a profoundly soul-stirring moment is an abomination.
As a man I am invited to share the experience of this miracle of life and all I can think of is sex??? Now that I have experienced the birth of my son as a witness and birthing assistant I just cannot relate with these men. Nor do I want to.
It’s offensive and worthy of no more words beyond this point.