Thought for the Day:
Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.
~ Buddha ~
I’m back – it feels great to be back.
I made it through another dark storm of fear and pain. It was a re-visitation of old stuff from the past triggered by an experience within my current relationship. I retreated into my childhood closet of private tears and imagined suffering, a familiar haunt where the spirit of death whispers lying promises of relief and rest.
I called on my Ancestors for help, I prayed to God for deliverance, and I thought about the meaning of ritual. My ritual of prayer connects me to Spirit, connects me to myself, and offers me an elevated view of my life. And from up above everything looks so small – the ‘problems’, the hurts, the fear. That which looms so fearsomely large to the ego is atomically small to the Spirit.
But it was important to remain in the pain and feel it – really feel it. It was important for me to relate to my ‘suffering self’ and to let it know that I AM here, that I AM not running away. I needed to fully feel the pain that my inner child holds on to so that he knows that I AM here with him, not against him.
Compassion, etymologically, means ‘to suffer together‘. Realizing, in my more rational moments, that the story of my life is not who I AM, I can distinguish between what is present (I AM) and what is past (my story). I can then embrace my pain not as an intrinsic part of my Self but as an acquired piece of the life of a hurt child who experienced it and chooses to hold on to what is familiar. It is what all hurt children do.
I remained with the child not in judgement, as if the child ought to know better, but in Love, because I know better. Feeling loved and accepted, feeling that there is someone else who is willing to sit in the dark with him and feel his pain, he felt safe to come out of his closet….and feel my joy.
The Truth I Seek I AM…….