Fear of Death

Thought for the Day:

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
~ Mark Twain ~

The other day I was struggling with the thought of death with pictures and thoughts of my demise jabbing at my mind. I busied myself in order to keep distracted. I did not stop to inspect the thoughts to determine their origin and meaning. I did not stop to ponder why I was having this premonition and so it gnawed at the underbelly of my emotions until I felt defeated and despairing. A thin shell of pain encased my head, and later the pain moved to my throat.

Later in the evening, somber and silent but forcing myself to smile and act ‘normal’, I hugged Narayani who, feeling my vibration, immediately asked, “What’s wrong, honey?”

Upon hearing this tears streamed from my eyes, the pain having transferred to my Heart for the first time. As I remained locked in a convulsing embrace of tears and emotional release the lucid thought came to my mind that the death was symbolic, not literal.

Narayani’s gentle receptivity and healing energy made it safe for me to feel what I was feeling, evidenced by the movement of the pain to my heart and the tears that followed, thus providing a clearing of the energy and clarity of insight.

“Ah, so that’s what it was,” I thought, “only a metaphorical death.”

So many lessons here.

First, I never should have tried to avoid what on the surface appeared to be an uncomfortable topic: death. I have moved well beyond the fear of dying when I gave up old (religious) beliefs about death, or so I thought. My last breath ‘here’ is my first breath ‘there’ in the endless life-cycles of eternity. But the fear that took hold of me was the fear of an unfulfilled life, one in which I did not do all that I would have liked so that my demise would then be premature. Yet, when I look back on my life I have no regrets, which is baggage I don’t have to drag through life. A closer look at things from this angle would have resolved the matter immediately. But I did not do that.

Second, allowing myself the space to confront this thought in the first place, and not try to distract myself from it, would have relieved me of the pain that I created by avoiding the issue altogether. Not closing my eyes and mind to what is before me but facing it openly and honestly is empowering. To do otherwise is to restrict myself from the full human experience.

Third, I must not consider things only on the surface as they appear initially to my impulsive perceptions. What is impulsive and what is intuitive falls on either side of a distinct boundary.

The impulsive view can appear to be a flash of intuitive insight because of how speedily it comes to one’s mind. In reality, however, it is a judgement one reaches based upon the conditioned mind and the cumulative data it has gathered so that the conclusion is really a preconception. In other words, instead of reading what is before you, as it is in the moment, your brain refers back to old patterns and judges according to this established paradigm. Doing so may actually blind you to what is before you in the moment.

Intuition bases its insight on what is immediately accessible without retrospection. And what is immediately available is what is real in the moment. The moment offers its own pool of data including and especially, vibration. Walk into a room in which people are not getting along but pretending that everything is ok. Your intuition tells you there is something wrong but your impulse-perception may read, for example, the pleasantries being exchanged and conclude that all is well.

Fourth, it is vital, especially for men, to operate from the Heart. Narayani’s love, without judgement, allowed me to go from my head (thought, logic) and throat (expression, power, or lack thereof) to my heart (feeling, love). I usually allow this for myself, but having given in to my fears I needed the nurturing support of another to remind my soul that I am indeed safe – safe to be, safe to feel, and safe to express. Then, and only then, could I think about what transpired and make sense of it.

And once I did make sense of it, through further introspection and talking about it with Narayani, I realized that the death, again, was symbolic, metaphorical. My ‘old self’ is dying and I am being reborn into my ‘new self’, my true Self.

That’s all it was, a message from Spirit that everything is just fine. I am on the right path.

I give thanks to the Creator, the Universe, and to Narayani for their Love, Life, and Truth.

The Truth I Seek I AM…….

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